A Roommate...

When I first came to Michigan, I had to chose AT THE SPOT a place to live in and a roommate to share an apartment with. This stage was very hard for so many reasons that only I and Stacey know all about it.

Now that I am already been with a roommate for about 2 months, things don't seem to be working out. First, I acted more like a mother telling her when to clean, what to do, etc... Second, she came up with this rule of each buying her own grocerry meaning that non uses others. I was fine with it, but when she uses ma stuff without even asking?!! now that's something that we need to talk about.

Ma problem is that I can't speak and be straight to the point in discussing these issues esp. with a person i'm not close to. So I had some hardtimes seriously sitting and talking about it all. This would not be possible if it wasn't for two of my good friends, Shirazee and Aqueel, who have helped me talk it through.

Today as I sat with my roommate and talked it through, it turns out that she wants to move out because she can't afford the life here. And alot of things that I have bought as house necessaties, i'll end up paying myself because she has bought 2 pots from home that she uses thus she won't pay for them.

I feel good to know that she will move out, see she is nice and everything, but from the first day i met her, i knew we won't go together very well. So now I want to search for another roommate whom I will be more comfortable with. I wish luck in it.

Every experience teaches you something and this taught me. I learned that you have to be straight to the point when dealing with your roommate and not act like an Arab and be nice and pay for most of the expenses cause it doesn't work that way. I am a student and have a very tight budget, thus expect myself and my roommate to know our responsibilities and expenses and to have guidelines to live by. So if am asleep at night, I expect atleast to be respected and given the quietness I need.

So well, I know now how to act, but I still am so shy to ask about splitting gas, expenses, etc... because back home we never did and it feels awefull to ask.

Look into UR LIFE...

We live our lives fully blinded. We just live not noticing how our hours, days, months, years and our own life are just running away. We live thinking that we are really changing and simply making out the best of what we are given, but...

....Take a better look

maybe, a closer look...

that doesn't work does it? because you are not really focusing and thus nothing can be seen. So give it one more shot, sit, step out of your own life, and watch it go by...

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That is how our focusing goes on ... at first we think, "WOW I can focus, its coming", but then, we see nothing... just a plain life.. with alot going on...

But then... when meeting people, watching a serious or whatever other ways, we see our own lives play again, but this time told by others. We simply live the reality of our own lives through others, and see clearly all the mistakes and assumptions we have made that have lead us to fighting over those tiny insignificant things in life. We see how much ignorance we have given to the people in our family, and how unrespectful we have been in treating them. We surely do respect them, but we blame them for everything just because we think they haven't worked hard in order to solve those problems and better life.

We THINK and think and think, but its all our thoughts and nothing of reality...

so take a step back... lay down and see your life from a third person's eye (can be you stepping out and watching your own life go by). Just take a look and make changes, understand people's position and the choices they have made rather than blaming them...

Don't let your life just run away and lose control over it... don't miss those around you because of your foolishness and stubbornness.. life is too short to miss it.

Live it, enjoy it, but make sure to always leave those special ppl feeling loved before you leave. And for that I wana say, I miss all those I love so much,I miss them more than they even know it and I just wish my memory brings a smile and happiness to their lives, cause if it didn't then i'll know i haven't given them much.
(PS. the pic is by my friend Washi)