When reality HITS

you are happy, have an amazing job that brings the best in you and surely pays well; you have a boyfriend you love and looking to have a life with; he's hard working and gives his job most his focus, but still you tend to have him fully when together...

all is perfect, but you have this tiny problem, your're a SHOPAHOLIC.

you can't keep up with paying your debts, ask for overdrafts, shop endlessly even with your awareness of the situation... it simply brings you pleasure to shop... You receive notices from banks which you ignore and in a way accidently lose them in the garbage or on the street, blah blah blah ... yes you have a nice strong personality, but you are weak when it comes to shopping and you fear those bank employees.

With a bad publicity about how you contradict your own advice of "look after your money, and it will after you," you lose it all including future anticipated opportunities given by endless TV channels; they all seem unintersted all of the sudden, canceling all meetings, possible work together, and giving you no good reason... but you needed it not, cause you know.

So you're life is shattered and people take no notice of you, you are humiliated for a personal fault of being unable to keep up with your expenses. Bad enough, but people around reacted so badly to such news showing that, the world of fame doesn't exist, not when a personal secret is exposed, that will bring disgrace to anything, anyone linked to you... they simply ignore the fact that a mistake has been made (not deadly) and you aren't all that bad to be on the "BLACK LIST".

When reality hits, only those that are worthy support you: a family, close friends, but maybe not a boyfriend that only cared about his own picture as he had this big deal comming up. He didn't care about you, but about the image it prevails being his girlfriend eventhough the deal wasn't going well before hands. You lost him, knowing he might only be blind for the moment and maybe you will get him back and he'll see things clearer...

You sit alone in a corner devasted, but not yet time to give up. You are determined to show them all, esp the bank employee whom showed no mercy, the TV channel you worked for which supposedly had you on hold for the time being until things settle, and those you gave them financial advices on the program, yet showed no gratefulness even with the advice being a good one.. all are ungratefull once a rumor even when true is spread.

So the question is, "are there any organizations who'll support you in a personal difficulty such as the above?" Ok you ain't that perfect, but it is a personal matter that should not affect the working life.. but unfortunatelly everything affects because ppl can't stop TALKING!!

You think you are safe, but you are never simply because many organizations show interest in you because you will help boost the company in a way or another, not because you as a person add up... Yeh profitablity is important, but the asset (employees) are more important to support.

Those are my personal thoughts in regards to two sequential books I have read. I love reading them because as you do, you feel alive and part of a story, rather than reading from a third party. I tend to get pissed off and stop reading due to her actions; I screesh at times, swear and praise for such uniqueness.. But yet what brings me so closer is the fact that I share some naiveness and fear from dealing with problems. Not because we are mistaken or so, but because it needs a lot of courage to stand up and talk, argue and discuss, with ppl of different mentality.

I surely have learned to face problems, but at many times, I prefer dealing with them through email, maybe phone, NO IDEA just as long as it isn't a face to face ... unless it's someone else's problem...