Scattered Thoughts

Visiting DC, which I called home since it was my very first stop four years ago in the States, I am shocked to know that it didn't mean alot to me; the very first thoughts that came to my mind was, "I want to go back home, to Ann Arbor". True it is a small city, but it is my house that I have spent almost a year in. I felt insecured being in a big city esp coming from one where small cities are scattered everywhere in Michigan State. I felt lost, as DC only meant alot to me because of those good friends of mine whom are now at home, Dubai. Now, DC stands as a city that only brings a smile because of visiting the Egyptian family and my Embassy.

I have spent three days busy with the AIESEC seminar preparing trainees for their upcoming travel to mainly Morocco and Tunisia. Afterwards, I spent three days with the Egyptian family whom I have missed alot. This visit made me aware of the reasons behind my suffering which is a main difference between the Arab and American /western cultures.

In the Arab/Muslim world, the most important thing to survive is the "Family". Everything is surrounded around it and its memebers as it brings alot of pleasure and happiness to ones life. Even if we spend alot of our time at home, there is the pleasure of spending time with the members and thus getting closer to each other. Being in DC with a family has brought back the easiness in life and the feel of security that I have missed since I left UAE. It is true that not being busy at work is part of my problem on not being able to get accustomed, but most importantly, not having a family. If I was a students as many others, this would not have been a problem, because school keeps you really busy, but with work and coming back, one barely has time to cook, relax for an hour then sleep to wake up to the same boring routine.

The Americans focus on the individual life and thus, from what I see, friends add more than a family does thus they have no difficulties in traveling and living abroad. Sometimes one is forced, but if not, then I prefer to at least have a family member or my future husband for me to feel secured and not sleep alone in an apartment and be worried.

Yesterday, I had a long talk with Abu Jasmine about his life as he has two adorable girls and a sick wife. He used to live with long term dreams which now do not exist as he lives every hour with only two wishes: his wife gets well and he pays off all the debts to be able to buy a house in Egypt and go home. As the wife is now very dependable on him and can barely move, he lives in fear everyday as there is noone to go back to when help is needed. True friends are around, but one feels more secured when family is around as he would not be as worried knowing that they would look after her always. He fears that if, God forbids, anything happened to him, the government would take the girls away as both parents are not capable of taking care of them, something that would never happen back home. He even fears to go to the doctor knowing that he might have to sleep over in the hospital, something he can't afford.

I now understand all my frustration as a big part of it comes from working in a country where I have no family member to look forward to meet and chill out with once home. True friends are there, but family is different.

Alot may not agree, but it is a personal belief as to me family comes first and I miss being around them....